Odes to Catholicism

Though I have not been the most faithful/practicing Catholic this past year, I doubt that I will ever be able *not* to view the world through a Catholic lens. (You can purchase that spiritually advantageous optic tool at AmazonPenanceontheFewnessoftheSavedStLiguoriStLeonard.com.)  Thus, anything I write, I write with the Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart hovering longingly and lovingly over me. Whether I still pray it or not, the royal Rosary call still rings in my ears like the clarion Catholic call that it is: urgent and melancholy and forthright, but surprisingly comforting and satisfying. If you have never prayed it, try it. Come on–try it.

I would rather go atheist (as much as I despise the atheist-Dawkins-Hitchens-circle-jerk-arrogance) than go Protestant again. Protestants function as the denominational version of Internet trolls. Yes, you kingdom of God bitches, I said that: they are satire and sarcasm, but no substance. In other words, they are only reactionary, and they possess nothing that will allow them to establish a lingering plan–a culture, a civilization. Protestantism (Inc.) does not require much of its followers: no days of obligation, no mandatory yearly confession, no mandatory yearly fasting, etc. For example, what sacrifice is there in becoming a Protestant minister if one can still marry (and have sexy sextytime sex), raise children, and drive BMWs (e.g., black preachers)? Fucking none. AmIright? You know it. High five.

What’s happenin’? …Several years ago, the lead singer of the Cranberries, Dolores O’Riordan (Dolores=pains–what a Catholic name 😉 ), caused quite a stink because she actually opposed, in Rolling Stone of all places,  the murder of babies in the womb. Their video, “Ode to My Family,” is a musical catechism. The pubs are family affairs (as opposed to being the provenance of the drunken young), the children are plentiful and dirty, and the old men are nostalgic and tipsy. Catholic paradise if you ask me.

(All I am saying is that if I ever get my life in order, I am having as many children as I can to recommend to the the priesthood and nunnery.  They will be fucking vicious servants of the Lord. [Cuck Catholics wept.])

Ask me. Watch this video:

(Edited to add: spelling corrections. Ha, this is what y’all get when I drunkenly post.)

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About Bourbon Apocalypse: A Whiskey Son of Sorrow

"If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing." ~ Kingsley Amis
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